On my dad’s 75th birthday, I went to the local restaurant for lunch with my parents and my wife.

It’s the only restaurant my parents go to.

It’s the only restaurant they order pizza from.

On my dad’s 75th birthday I realised even more than before how much he has aged.

The mind plays tricks, especially when you have a heart condition and very limited to no social life.

I also realised that it’s going to be harder than I thought taking care of him and my parents in general in their old age.

I realised how the absence of something, probably the absence of me being in Ireland, of not having grandchildren of their own blood, of missing I don’t know what, has had an impact on their ageing.

I also realised how far from each other we are, how words cannot fill the gap of something missing that is unknown, like a constant sense of something missing, like life as is is not what you would have expected or wanted for him / them.

I will try my best to take care of him / them in his / their old age, but I realise now that it’s going to be a very difficult task.

For the moment, I am working on a plan to move back to Italy in the near future, a plan looking to tick all boxes for all people involved.

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